An Overdose of Daydreams

A fantasy and vision of a woman, who I don’t even know is dead or alive, I don’t know where is she or what is she doing, or if she is/was what she always wanted to be. Probably another unsolved mysteries of this annoyingly amazing life.

She stood alone and always pictured herself in the most heavenly places on earth. She never complained about her freedom because one day, she knew, she will become a stand alone, comprehensive human being striving for happiness on her own infinite path that no one would dare to cross. What is explained as the mankind’s weakness, was rather her strength and hence she thrived. Anger, anxiety and excitement were her black commandos in life. They made her feel weak sometimes because they surrounded her like a wall and hence she could not see what was beyond. But, at the same time they stood beside her as her strongest aegis and they prevented her from quitting and helped her grow into the person she always sought to be.

Everyone was oblivious to the desperation that existed within her. A desperation to perceive life and the serenity that earth offered to her. She couldn’t wait. Wait to feel the emotions that her body had, to get lost in the woods of life and find her way out, to fall in love with a man to whom she could give in, to drown in books that were yearning to be read, to be stupefied by the sucker punches of life, to travel the world by herself and for herself. She wanted to learn the famous dances of seduction, the ethereal languages of romanticism. She wanted to savor spaghetti and pizza, like the best orgasm ever. She wanted to have the best wine, not to get drunk, but feel its heat on her tongue and the way it would slide down her throat like a snake. She wanted her inner jowls to soak the echelon the wines held. She couldn’t wait to be selfish in order to catch hold of her happiness and the enigmatic pleasures of life. She coveted to live and feel it as it is, without anyone’s interference. She did not want to wait, depend or fight for her way of life. Rather impossible but no harm in thinking of an effortless, flowing life filled with pain, happiness and glory.

Pain is a strange, unexplored emotion. The kind everyone wants to avoid and escape from. She was an unusual being because she wanted to unfold that emotion and seek its marvelous consequences unlike the world around her. She fantasized about transforming into a captivating, intellectual, smart young woman who could change the world through her words and fortuitous actions, never knowing if it would be true. She pinned her hopes on pain, that it would make her fantasy come true and throw her off from the false retrospectives.

She witnessed women like herself turn into a man’s sacrificial animal, rather not just a man’s but the society’s. One difficulty she knew she would stumble upon was gaining her individuality and identity in this male dominating society. As it is, every woman first belongs to her family and when she’s married, she belongs to her husband and never does she belong to herself. The possibility for any woman to travel alone are negligible, because the uncouth mind of the society becomes vocal about its insular and irrational thoughts. But these are just a bunch of hideous thoughts that fill her mind with all the pessimism and prevent her to do things that she is meant to. She knew and was rather confident that she would get through it all and perform a blithe disregard to the expectations of others. The society would just be a bunch of round pebbles under her cocoon like feet that would soon grow wings and fly and flutter over the bridge between the visible and invisible. She set herself apart from the rest and she couldn’t have been more satisfied and fearless about it.

The thought of failing stifled her, it was a poignant reminder that if she could not do this, she couldn’t solve the mysteries and questions that have been constantly mocking her since the time her eyes had opened. But sadly she awaits for something to come up that could be means of catharsis for her, that could help her come out as she truly wanted to be. Probably a ripple of will power, confidence and fearlessness.

Seraglio of the Wanderers

I am your usual globetrotter,
Unravelling the rules laid by you,
Some call me a useless rambler,
I break your glass like ego to pieces,

I am not perturbed by your expectations, 
I dig my way to happiness with people like myself,
The dew drops on the leaves smile detached from the aimless ocean,
The Royal Empress tree shines in a dull garden,

I get bombed out of my mind,
When I stand alone in a yellow daffodil field,
When the cool breeze of Italy pierces through my skin,
When my lover glares at me and I feel his lips on mine,

While you try to drown me in your regulations and commands,
I drown in life, emotions, and books,
I drown in realms of life you don't even know that exist,
I drown in love, lust, anger, happiness and pain,

You showed me differentiations and highs and lows,
You showed me snakes and snails,
You showed me ashes,

But all I saw was glowing ember,
All I saw were animals,
Everything I saw was equal,

So here we both are not different at all,
Reading the same piece of poetry and breathing in the same emotions,
 - Harnoor Kaur 
 

Man: An Abiotic Being

On an odd spring day back in Italy, there was a young white man driving his bicycle on a lonely road. He held his father’s cigar in one hand and the dusty handle of his bicycle in the other, concave tear drops rolled down his infundibuliform jowls finding their way down his neck and submerging in his trivial piece of clothing barely covering his chest. He carefully heard the whispers of the wind as it swooshed past his thin bole like body. His chaotic conscience told him to elope from the expectations of his family, community and the world. It deduced to him that if he does not follow the whispers of the wind, he would fail the ultimate goal of life, that is happiness.

So he drove. Drove down a broken, soiled road that had traces of cattle on it. His bamboo like legs moved him further and lead him to the dark, isolated village library carrying the historic Greek architecture, and it was bulked down with knowledge. Ages old raw knowledge, untouched by his generation and this knowledge weighed upon him the burden to interpret it and pass it down. But, this was not one of those expectations, this was his desire and will. Nobody cared about the mastery of this infinite knowledge that was open to every being existent on earth, they cared about survival as they caressed their money. This was the major contrast between the society and people like himself. He read extensively, he learnt about women who waited for their lovers, men who burnt villages for the respect of their wives, soldiers who sacrificed lives for their country, bastards who ate the poor’s money, women who thrived in the world of men, destruction of mankind in the name of religion, diseases which created ruckus in the world and the age of enlightenment that dominated the world.

As he gained knowledge, he became superior, he turned into a being not understood by the common world. A ripple of realizations continued to pass through him as he unfolded the working of the human mind which is highly influenced not by his own wants but the wants of the people around him. This was called altruism. No man or woman on earth is living. Everyone is suppressed by the needs, desires, expectations and wants of others. Everyone is choking and drowning in the needs of the world, forgetting their own dreams and hopes that will truly give them the ability to live, feel and thrive.

The young man felt an exigency to make others perceive the fact that they all are dead souls walking each other into potholes of sadness. So he picked his book and lit another cigar that he stole from his father’s study drawer, walking out of the house of knowledge as a more enlightened being. Each throbbing step narrating to him the pages filled with failures of all those who tried to make people realize the reason of their sadness. But, he walked. He ran. He ran knowing every human is born with the world in a tray and you do not have to see what others choose from this ceaseless tray having infinite variety, rather you pick things that define you and give you happiness. He ran knowing it was his responsibility to create awareness and he chose this responsibility from the same tray. He ran from his father’s expectations and definitions, towards the goal he chose for himself and to give himself the one thing no one had completely attained, that is happiness.

The truth is every human is a speck on earth with the capability to make revolutions in the different realms of every conscience being. Instead the majority of us have chosen just to remain a meaningless speck with no purpose and following conventional winds created by mass blowing. No man is living. Man is just a physical being that has been put under a rock by the society and hence not capable to live or feel.

Hence, man is an abiotic being.

The Obscure Land of Mystery

                    
The ecstacticism of Earth will take over
And the obliviousness will perish
I'll drown in waves of knowledge
Turning into a large blue whale
Ruling over all oceans
The oceans of knowledge, life and happiness
The world will become putrescent
And i will make it grow and bloom again
Mankind will be a pygmy
And nature shall take charge
It will punish
Punish those who destruct it
And I will help it do the same
- Harnoor Kaur 
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